Feelings of Inadequacy

So the Chinese and Vietnamese students went home. I might have started bonding with the Chinese on Day 4 or so and the Vietnamese by Day 2, but in the end I didn't give out my contact details except MSN to a girl named Elephant and my Facebook to one of the Vietnamese guys. Insociable yeah? So far no one has added me yet... I remember fondly the farewell ceremony, where I got quite a few of the Chinese students coming up to me for autographs and photographs. Did I bond with them, or was it because of my position? Nonetheless, I was there with them most of the time, and I'm pretty sure I did help out. So it's all good, I think. The joy on their faces when they saw Koh Wee Nee (who taught them while on staff exchange to the PSB-affiliated campuses in China - she can speak Mandarin, obviously!) was indescribable. I'm sure the Chinese students loved her...

I didn't feel like going home that Friday but my eye hurt so bad I decided I had to go back to take a rest. Hopefully nothing is wrong. Felicia went back to Brunei that same day.

On Saturday, rise and shine! Early-morning trip down to NTU (wake up at 0715, journey to NTU approx. 1 hour 15 mins), reaching at 0930 for YOG's VENue EXercise 1. We were shown where we would be working in, among other things. Schedule's out, and this would be the thing that would be keeping me busy in August! Otherwise I'd be slacking and slacking and slacking till no tomorrow. Having not kept up my IPPT training, it is likely that I will fail it this coming Wednesday. Didn't help that Tan Wei Quan was reinforcing my fears when the bunch of us met up to have dinner and send Ka Ming, now Lieutenant Wong (in U.S. Navy parlance, a "Lieutenant j.g.") off for the next term of his studies at the Australian Defence Force Academy. My memory was epically failing that day and I kept getting confused with the layout of Terminals 1, 2 and 3. Biatch.

My memory further failed when it came to a gathering today with my Scout seniors and juniors. We were supposed to meet at 1130 but I totally forgot about it, going to bed only at 0530 and waking up to the horror of the fact at 1150. I rushed but I was still late by an hour. It pisses me off that I could have forgotten this! But it was a good gathering and I met up with my juniors whom I have not seen, some in years, and not to forget my seniors as well. We had lunch and chatted. It's nice to see my seniors and juniors doing well, which then brings me once again to the feelings of inadequacy torturing me, always. That I'm in a private school, an Australian university that is likely not as reputable as the local ones or the overseas ones everyone is going to. I (hope I am still) on the path to redemption, this, I must stumble and find my way through.

On a comforting note, I managed to get all As again for my 4 modules in the second semester of Foundation. Yay! Well done, me. Year 2's difficulty will ramp up by several notches, no doubt.

In the evening, I popped by Big Carnival @ Marina Bay to lend Zhikang my gloves, but I ended up reaching only at 1930 instead of catching everyone at 1800. I firstly drove to Marina Barrage thinking it was there, then, figuring it was near Marina Bay Sands, I moved out there, backing out of the $8/hr carpark and finally parking at Esplanade and walking one whole big round past MBS to the Marina Bay Promontory (What the hell is this?) in the light drizzle that lasted the whole day... it got me all annoyed and frustrated. Turnout for the event by that time was abysmally little, and the cosplayers were actually getting ready to go home. At least I met (Filipino) Roy and had dinner with him and Zhikang, meeting Roy's little boy for the first time too. So nice... :)

And I was listening to the radio in my Mom's car at the ground floor of my house because reception in the basement carpark is bad. Then my neighbours kept coming out of the function room to peer at me like I was some alien. I tried waving to them but it didn't seem to work... Maybe because I wasn't smiling? Hmm...